Gender Privilege, Social Norms, Interesting Trends in Gender Relations

There are two videos by transgendered people who use their transgendered status to claim that they have seen both sides of the gender coin.

Here is the first by a trans woman: 

And here is the second featuring trans men: 

When you watch both videos it becomes clear that both claims of “privilege” are really the same.

How other people treat you.

The trans men felt it privileged to be ignored. The trans woman felt it privileged to be noticed. Neither position is right or wrong, but taking one position without acknowledging the other is definitely wrong and paints an incomplete picture. Unfortunately I am not qualified to talk about the downsides of being a woman (that would be mansplaining, and I’ve been told that’s bad). So I will focus a bit on the male side of the equation, and ask for your forgiveness for not pointing out all the downsides of being female.

So what is the downside to “male privilege”? Dogs and cats get more sympathy than a male child.

You can find the write up here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3749187/If-boy-girl-cat-dog-left-park-rescued-Social-experiment-shows-subject-people-responded-fastest-completely-ignored.html

The cost of social isolation is real. Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, Jeffrey Weise, Seung-Hui Cho Adam Lanza, Jaylen Fryburg, Christopher Harper-Mercer. Those mass shooters who took their rage out on the world that either ignored them or actively rejected and persecuted them are just not available for comment. But why blame society for ignoring boys when you can instead blame “toxic masculinity” and transition the blame to all men, not just the downtrodden but the successful too? https://aeon.co/essays/humiliation-and-rage-how-toxic-masculinity-fuels-mass-shootings

But instead of recognizing the cost of this “male privilege” as a natural result of our social gender norms in how men are viewed with distrust or disdain, the tide of social forces has been to further isolate men. And that isolation is working.

Milo notices men are withdrawing further:  http://www.breitbart.com/london/2014/12/04/the-sexodus-part-1-the-men-giving-up-on-women-and-checking-out-of-society/

Dr. Helen Smith wrote the book on it: https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

And “MGTOW” is definitely a thing: MGTOW Trends

All this data, or anecdotes if you feel like making the argument that it is not data, seems to make it clear that men will become more and more isolated. Some will seek refuge in a group of fellow men, which will become more informal groups instead of formal organizations that women have forced their way into via anti gender discrimination laws. Essentially you are likely to see more and more men go “feral.”

And you are likely to see more and more women ask the question, “where have all the good men gone?” Kay Hymowitz asked this question and gave a very sexist answer in 2011: http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704409004576146321725889448  In 2014 a more “academic” approach to the same issue: https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2014/10/08/where-have-all-the-good-men-gone-gender-differences-in-marriageability/ came to the conclusion that there are plenty of good men out there from the traditional economic definition of “good.” Nothing like real data analysis to prove that there are plenty of good men available, but as this Huffington Post article elaborates, women are no longer looking for the traditional economic definition of “good” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tristan-bridges/where-have-all-the-marria_b_6077814.htmlhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/tristan-bridges/where-have-all-the-marria_b_6077814.html

That conclusion is born out again in this rather infamous Vice OPED: http://www.vice.com/read/youre-single-because-there-arent-enough-men-253 Which honestly asks the questions but avoids honestly answering.

Why are there so many great single women? Where are all the great single men?

What do you expect when you demonize men for decades, medicate little boys just for being little boys, create a culture that looks down on people without a college education, create college campuses where men don’t even have due process for being accuse of rape or sexual harassment? It’s like maybe the guys figure out that the only winning move is not to play.

All the great single men are out there, being single, not playing a rigged game. They can get all the sex they want because women have made that available to them to borrow or rent. They can live in their fantasy world via PlayStation or XBox controller (or even via VR for the nerdier tech crowd).

Is it healthy? Probably not for everyone. But not all coping mechanisms are healthy. But all coping mechanisms help us cope with our situation. On thing is certain, that as women become more empowered they will realize like the transgendered individuals who recognize the privilege of the opposite sex because they transitioned into it, that you are really just changing one set of circumstances for another. Just “differently privileged” instead of “privileged.

I do know that with the traditional family becoming increasingly rare other social ills are becoming increasingly normal. The black community in America may never recover from a 60% single mother rate, and the continued bifurcation of Black America between single mother welfare cases having male offspring go to jail and middle class families continue to struggle to overcome the racial stereotypes perpetuated by others has all the makings of a tragedy if it weren’t all true. But single mother might be the only option for a large number of successful college educated women in the future if they decide they won’t marry a “good” man (classic economic definition) and keep holding out for a “great” man (Vice author definition).

Big complicated issues don’t have simple answers. Falling back into the traditional institutions of home and church will work for some. Non-traditional answers will work for others. But I don’t believe there is any single “one size fits all” solution to the problems of gender relations being experienced across the western world. Then again, Denmark’s “Do it for Mom” campaign seemed to work.

I guess we’ll see if state sponsored conception can help alleviate the falling birthrate. What an interesting time to be alive.

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