Pretty provocative title, isn’t it? Of course it is, and there are really only three possible reactions to such a statement; 1) Meh, who cares? 2) sure, technically nothing is “safe” just various degrees of relative safety or danger, and 3) WTF WHY ARE YOU MAKING BASELESS ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT AN ENTIRE GENDER?
I actually fall into category 2, I don’t believe that anything or anyone is truly safe, because “safety” isn’t a binary condition that someone/something is safe or unsafe, but really how we express that “safe” equals “acceptably low risk.”
Jodi Allard, who made some social media splashes when the Brock Turner rape case came out, wrote that she’s decided no men are safe: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2017-07-im-done-pretending-men-safe-even-sons/
If the feminist men—the men who proudly declare their progressive politics and their fight for quality—aren’t safe, then what man is? No man, I fear.
She clearly falls into camp number three, that we can totally judge people on their gender. Because it’s totally progressive to judge people based on their gender, just as long as you are judging the right people. You can’t judge any of the the protected class, and all good progressives will be up to date on who is a protected class.
One of my sons was hurt by my words, although he’s never told me so. He doesn’t understand why I lumped him and his brother together in my essay. He sees himself as the “good” one, the one who is sensitive and thoughtful, and who listens instead of reacts. He doesn’t understand that even quiet misogyny is misogyny, and that not all sexists sound like Twitter trolls. He is angry at me now, although he won’t admit that either, and his anger led him to conservative websites and YouTube channels; places where he can surround himself with righteous indignation against feminists, and tell himself it’s ungrateful women like me who are the problem.
Really….this is a classic “mind reading” and “projection” problem. This is also not a sign of good mental health, it’s a classic symptom of borderline personality disorder, treating any sort of opposing viewpoint as “evil” rather than “different.”
I teeter frequently between supporting my son and educating him. Is it my job as his mother to ensure he feels safe emotionally, no matter what violence he spews? Is it my job as his mother to steer and educate, no matter how much that education challenges his view of himself? I think it’s both, but the balance between the two has proven impossible to pinpoint. When I hear his voice become defensive, I back off but question whether I’m doing him any favors by allowing his perception of himself to go unchallenged. When I confront him with his own sexism, I question whether I’m pushing too hard and leaving him without an emotional safe space in his home.
Really, how would YOU like it Jodie if someone out there decided that it was their mission in life to point out every single flaw they found in you because YOU weren’t ideologically pure enough? It would be petty, it would be irritating, and it wouldn’t be helpful on your “journey of discovery to being a better person.” It might turn you into a bitter middle age woman who has mental health and control issues… Sorry Jodie, it looks like you’ve turned into your mother.
As a single mother, I sometimes wonder whether the real problem is that my sons have no role models for the type of men I hope they become. But when I look around at the men I know, I’m not sure a male partner would fill that hole. Where are these men who are enlightened but not arrogant? Who are feminists without self-congratulation? If my sons need role models, they may have to become their own.
You are single because you don’t want a relationship. A relationship actually requires you to value, and work with, a partner. Jodie wants a “Stepford Husband” that conforms to her notions of what he should be, do, and fulfill in her life. And in doing so deprives her sons of the advantages of having a male role model in their lives.
And serious questions, about why there aren’t enough college educated men to provide spouses to all the college educated women can be summed up by Slate with…a masturbation joke: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/sandbox/2006/02/will_boys_be_boys.html
That’s right folks, the same left wing culture that tells women that there just aren’t enough college educated men for them to have a fulfilling family life are the same folks dismissing any notion that maybe we should actually address male educational needs with the same fervor that female educational needs are being addressed: http://www.thedailybeast.com/why-college-educated-women-cant-find-love
The final advice in all these “there aren’t enough college educated men” is always “well, either you’ll have to lower your standards or accept the life of a spinster with ten cats” is unfortunately the truth.
I know I’m not supposed to cast an entire sex with a single paint brush — not all men, I’m sure some readers are thinking and preparing to type or tweet. But if it’s impossible for a white person to grow up without adopting racist ideas, simply because of the environment in which they live, how can I expect men not to subconsciously absorb at least some degree of sexism? White people aren’t safe, and men aren’t safe, no matter how much I’d like to assure myself that these things aren’t true.
Jodie…you know you aren’t supposed to do something but you did it anyway. And it is possible for white people to grow up without adopting racist ideas, as long as you leftists would stop making everything you disagree with “racist.” Keep changing the definition of “racism” to suit your agenda that “all white people are racist” and eventually you’ll find that *gasp* even YOU are racist. Hell, even now “being white” is one of the definitions of “racist” that is bandied about by the Left. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2016/10/19/to-be-white-is-to-be-racist-period-a-high-school-teacher-told-his-class/?utm_term=.590ef6f19cd4
My sons won’t rape unconscious women behind a dumpster, and neither will most of the progressive men I know. But what all of these men share in common, even my sons, is a relentless questioning and disbelief of the female experience. I do not want to prove my pain, or provide enough evidence to convince anyone that my trauma is merited. I’m through wasting my time on people who are more interested in ideas than feelings, and I’m through pretending these people, these men, are safe.
Because talking about ideas = rape culture. Got it.
I don’t know what the balance is between supporting these men and educating them, but I know the toll it takes on me to try. I am too valuable and too worthy to waste my time on men who are not my flesh and blood. But as my boys grow into men, I wonder whether I’ve done enough to combat the messages they hear from everyone but me. They are good boys, and maybe that’s the best they can be in the system we’ve created for them.
Here’s a news flash Jodie, you are not valuable or worthy. Not any more than any other random person. You are not some unique special snowflake that should be celebrated. You are a bitter, insecure, and emotionally abusive woman who should be ridiculed, and probably have her children taken away for their own good (although if they are actively seeking out alternative viewpoints to yours they are probably going to be ok). As far as the “messages they hear from everyone but me” and “the system we’ve created for them” you really need to shut your whore mouth, since Leftist lunacy is spewing out all over the internet and mass media. Your boys are not getting any messages that it is ok to rape or objectify women, your boys are getting the message that they are damaged, horrible people simply because they are white men.