Do you ever want to know why feminists can’t be pleased? Enter one Sam Escobar, who chooses to use “they” pronouns rather than gendered pronouns. Sam lives in NY, with two cats, and has published for a long string of left leaning woman’s media.
DEPUTY DIGITAL EDITOR
Sam Escobar has previously held editor roles at Bustle.com and GoodHousekeeping.com. They have been published by The Observer, Esquire.com, Cosmopolitan.com, Brooklyn Magazine, and more, and they have been profiled by Us Weekly, Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls, and Grazia. They live in Brooklyn with their two cats, Dorito and Rorschach.
Well, kudos on them for that.
So, to set the stage a man who shared his own personal growth towards accepting that his personal tastes in what is “attractive” on his Instagram account. Was his message for women? No, his message was pretty clearly written for other men who may still be struggling with how to resolve perceived societal expectations and norms with personal desires and opinions and women who may be struggling with body issues because they feel like they can’t get love without changing their body to some more socially acceptable version.
Mr. Tripp was clearly not addressing a lonely bitter woman living with two cats. But what the hell, this is the internet and everybody gets a say. So what good feminist wouldn’t pass up a chance to tell a man that “you’re doing it wrong”? like Sam Escobar did here?
I do not, however, love when men all but congratulate themselves for their preferences in women. “There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident,” he writes, blissfully unaware that he is still telling women how to look and feel.
Ooooooh…that’s some strong language. Exactly what did Mr. Tripp tell women how to look and feel?
Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah.
Wow, that’s some blissfully unaware encouragement. I mean, how incredibly toxic is it to encourage women to not think they have to change themselves to be loved and appreciated? Who knew that encouragement was sexist?
Maybe there isn’t someone out there for Sam Escobar who will love them the way that Tripp loves Sarah? Maybe that’s why they celebrate living in Brooklyn where an actual “man shortage” does exist? http://nypost.com/2015/08/25/hey-ladies-here-are-8-reasons-youre-single/ then again, this piece in The Village Voice is possibly the most honest piece of feminist writing I’ve ever read about the plight of women’s relationships with men in NY: https://www.villagevoice.com/2011/02/09/dear-single-women-of-nyc-its-not-them-its-you/ (TL:DR version, the big city gives women so many options that they suffer from “paralysis by analysis” in choosing or not choosing a mate).
If I were going to fall prey to the “mind reading fallacy” and ascribe some sort of motivation to Sam’s words I could wax long and poetic about how she is simply bitter because she has two cats rather than her own Tripp who loves her exactly as she is. But that would be the easy way out, so lets just assume for a second that she really does believe that men should just shut up about any personal growth for reasons. I may not understand what her reasons are, but this clearly falls into the “ugh, men!” trait of feminism. For those who don’t understand, when a feminist can’t explain something logically, they will simply go “ugh, men!” and then attack men for being men rather than defend their actions or words with reason and logic. After all, reason and logic support the patriarchy http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/03/why-rationalism-is-irrational/ (that link is from 2016, but the question about whether logic is a tool of oppression has been around for a bit longer than that https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20141206144435AA41Ty1)
In short, everything a man does isn’t good enough for a feminist. Like big girls? Whether you speak up or stay silent this is wrong. If you speak up you are telling women what to think, and if you stay silent you are allowing society to perpetuate unhealthy stereotypes.